I wondered what wisdom might be be gained by asking the question, “What have you learned on your journey with your addicted child?”
I sent that question out to a number of parents who I knew had many years of experience on the journey to recovery. I was very blessed with a plethora of responses from Mom’s and Dad’s, just like you and me.
“I have learned I am not alone.”
“I can have peace in the midst of my son’s bad decisions and chaotic life.”
“I learned I must be prepared to say “let me think about that”.
“I learned I did not cause the disease of addiction. I made some parenting mistakes but it did not cause the disease.”
“I learned I can move closer to dependency on Christ as I move further from my codependency of the disease.”
“I must be prepared to say, “No”
“I must accept that her thinking will not be in line with mine but that my love for her crosses those differences.”
“I must accept the reality that my daughter will have to manage “her” disease for the rest of her life.”
“I learned that micro-managing my child’s life wasn’t the solution to keeping him away from drugs and alcohol, nor was making sure he associated with the “right” people.”
“ I learned that when substance abuse is in the picture, I can literally love my child to death by enabling him.”
“I learned there is a reason that when the oxygen masks comes down on the plane, I’m supposed to put on my own before assisting another. I cannot help my child if my own basic needs are unmet.”
“I learned that I cannot always fix things, but regardless of my child’s path, I can love him unconditionally.”
“I learned that it is OK to give myself permission to grieve some of my hopes and dreams I had for my child, and then to move on with Life on its own terms.”
“I learned God knows what my child needs far better than I. Let go!”
“I learned I am grateful for what I have learned and how I have grown by going through these trials!”
“I have learned that my child’s choices are his own, and that I am not responsible for those choices.”
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